Archives > November 2007
I just got back from sushi and drinks with Lucrezia oh my heavens I had such a blast! I always have an amazing time with this girl, there's always a reason to roll on the floor laughing in agony! it's like being drunk without alcohol, incredible!
We were laughing like mad because I made a reservation under my name earlier today and the little Asian guy couldn't find it... that's because the lady that took the call thought my name was Cioccopene (which in Italian means Choco-penis) OMG! I laughed in his face of course, but I mean I really really needed to have a blast!
I ate so much, 2 bowls of rice with fish, 1 boat (2 uramaki, 3 hosomaki, 4 nigiri and some sashimi), Japanese mango and coffee. Then we went to a newly discovered bar which is really known all over Milan for having the best drinks in the city, but what's extremely great is the huge variety of drinks and the originality! One time I ordered a jelly daiquiri, another time a Polynesian drink with soy sauce served in a gigantic shell, this time I had a Nutella (chocolate) daiquiri. It had a little ice cream cone on top to decorate, and as I was drinking it I thought I had been jipped cuz it didn't taste like much alcohol was in it. I just had to exit the bar to realize the alcohol was in my sistem, and we kept on laughing about my newly found nickname.
Well, there's so, so much more I wanna tell you, for example the oil massage I had yesterday... but I am beat and I better get back to bed, tomorrow is going to be transportation strike so I can't afford to stay in bed too long. In the meantime check out the pics below!
November 16th - Negramaro concert
Amazing, incredible theatre acoustic-style music with great surprises such as surprising music solos and Jovanotti! I look like crap in these pics, had a long day and didn't even get to freshen up plus some kid at McDonalds spilled soda down the stairs and magically onto my crotch and sweater. Nevertheless, it was an unforgettable concert!
An evening at Ste's house
Just catching up on gossip, this was supposed to be a pajama party but Roby didn't bring hers so we just ended up mellowing on the couch looking like corpse brides. Still it was so good to have that much fun among women only!
I don't know if it's due to the fact that it's been raining for the past 4 days, my knee hurts like crazy, so much that today I skipped bellydance class for the first time in a year.I don't know if it's because it's cold, or maybe I blame it on the season because I can't blame it on myself, but lately I haven't been doing anything at all.I have to catch up with a Design and Composition course, my house is a complete mess, I just don't feel like doing much at all. Besides when I go out with friends I come home and watch Grey's Anatomy episodes, talk to some people on msn, I mean nothing much.
Tomorrow I would love to do a million things but it's always tomorrow I talk about. I would love to finally put away the summer clothes boxes I filled and pull out some extra winter things I still haven't found room for. I would love to also do a good cleaning around the house and dust removing the hair which lies all over the place, and take out Christmas decorations. I am so afraid to decorate this year, as it's the first real Christmas with Tigro (last year I had the calf injury so I couldn't even stand, let alone decorate the tree). I hope he's not going to pull down all the decorations and destroy the house in the middle of the night, or worse chew on the Christmas lights and cause mayem. I'll keep u posted, that is if I actually find the will to do all the above.
ps. so yea I'm gonna use this to-do list to cat proof my Christmas tree... even if some things are beyond me, like tie the tree to the ceiling...
So I just got done washing my hair with this shampoo I've had lying around the house for about two years now; I mean there's nothing wrong cuz shampoo doesn't go bad, right? And I have gone through about a hundred shampoo bottles in between, just never got through to using this one. Because it's Vidal, it's not a cheap shampoo, but I just don't like the way it smells. It isn't smelly yet again it's different from all the other fragrances I would originally choose.
So why am I dedicating an entire blog post to a dumb shampoo bottle? Because sometimes things aren't as material as they seem on the outside, sometimes there's so much more meaning behind an object's mere appearance. I bought this shampoo during a tournament when I was still with him, and bought it because I had forgotten to bring my own and the hotel didn't have complimentary; I chose it so it wouldn't be too fruity, too sweet, too girly, because he would always complain about the many bottles I had in my bathroom yet they all smelled like a girl, like me in fact, and he didn't want to use shampoo that smelled like a girl.
So cutting the crap short two years passed and I still haven't finished nor thrown away that bottle. And don't jump to conclusions thinking "ohh she's still got it for him, the poor woman" or "you need to get your head checked." Heck I paid for that shampoo and in hotel resorts products cost even twice the normal price, so I am gonna go ahead and finish it eventually! it's not even like it's family size, it's such a small bottle... and I use it every other time, with a regular fruity shampoo in between. Sooner or later eventually I'll finish it and be left with nothing, not even the smell of a time that's so far away from me now, but that I still can't seem to get the stench out of.
I will get through it, and once I am done I will go back to buying something for me, no matter the guy, something that will smell good no matter the outside consequences.
Sometimes I stop while on my frantic run towards nowhere, towards a future destination that I never chose but took just to avoid going nowhere at all. I realize that I started running in early 90s, in my relentless journey towards today and tomorrow I never stopped to be young and careless. And I know that now it's too late but when was it ever time for me?
I've been tired. But not the tired that makes you yawn and snooze, that kind of brain tired when you realize you are running out of checklists to fill, of dynamic ideas to make what you have more digestable.
I've been at my job for almost 3 years now, and I was always happy with it, even because I've had awful job situations in the past and convinced myself that no matter the hardship it will always be better than what I had, it will always be better than nothing.
I call in sick, sure, I often feel like crap in the morning, but since I don't want to be a liar to myself I take a day off spur of the moment once in a while, I think in 3 years I may have done that 5 times. When do I do this? When I am sure there are no upcoming deadlines, when I believe I have completed all the urgent tasks... that's what I did today. My boss had to go on a 4 day trip and I smoothed everything out from beginning to end, so who would have thought he would have an emergency and need me to change all his plans so he could come back? He sent me an email, telling me that he would like to be informed beforehand of all time off that I need to take, especially when he is travelling.
And of course kicked in my repremanding self, my self punishing for something that I already felt guilty of doing, but what's worse is that I can't get over it. I mean he didn't yell at me, he didn't fire me, he simply told me, then again to me it's like a punch in the face because I know I was not lucky to take this day off last minute (I mean let's face it, even if I had told him two weeks in advance he would still have had his emergency) but still, no matter how well I do my job and how I am always available no matter what I still seem to get kicked in the face.
So it's never good enough, in life I mean. You plan and you try to be mature, you need to be responsible for yourself, but the moment you kick back to try and breathe a minute it hits you in the face. Three years and this is the first time he says something like that to me, and I mean I'm human and people make mistakes, then why aren't these self motivations I'm offering myself enough to say "hey, it happened, shit, well, move on"?
I wish I could do like in the movies, and get in a car without saying anything to anyone and go, drive away to God knows where, I mean I have no kids or husband, if I don't do these things now when should I? Well no, I can't. It's like I'm stuck in this mudpile of a life where everything is never enough, and I punish myself for not living up to my own standards of perfection.
An awful day I shall say, one of these days where you say "damn, I should have just stayed home." Well I did and it was shit regardless, so what to do to escape from this cage that surrounds me?
What to do to feel that it's going to be ok... sometimes I'd like to be my own mother and comfort myself with sweet words and encouragements, while I punish myself, and cruelly set too many ambitious goals to reach. I'm my own cruel version of a mother I never had but keeps me focused the hard way, through a perverted, steep winding road that's going slowly but steadily a mountain I don't want to climb. Is this life?
LOL we had a great time :)
ma è un pensiero stupido,
perchè per domani oggi sarò stata una sciocca.