Archives > March 2003

Sunday, March 30 2003

Songs of life

Isn't it strange how much a song can do to a person? I am listening to my old mp3 cds and reminiscing nostalgia or years gone by.

For example, Babyface's "When Can I See You Again" reminds me of my first months in the US back in 1994, when I was so turned off by American music that the only channel I would watch was VH1...

Gawd, I remember we used to live in this house lost in the friggin woods... and also remember how scared I was of going to school where the kids made fun of my English. Now this song is making it all come back to me, I even think of the leaves falling off the trees in October, cluttering the porch and the entire backyard, I remember helping out taking those leaves... damn that was a bitch!

And even Blue Cantrell's "Hit 'em up Style," I remember it used to piss off my bf sooooo much! Cuz yap, he'd say that ok, the guy was a jerk but her going up in his house to sell his shit... he used to say "Damnnn I would have killed the bitch!!"

And Boyz II Men... damn they were the shit back in the day! I remember I used to cry and dream to "End of the Road," I was 14 years-old and I would just sit back on my bed and fantasize about being some kid Robert's girlfriend freshman year. I barely understood the song, but I loved it. Damn, I remember I used to sweat that Robert Nugent guy sooo much but he made fun of me because my English was soo bad.

Damn, I have such horrible memories of my first year in the US, but it taught me so much about expecting respect from others. Now that is the most important thing, back in the day I used to be so sweet... so shy... so fragile. Now I'ma break yo fuckin' neck!!! LOL...

And even listening to Bryan Adam's "Have You Ever Loved a Woman" reminds me of my pal roomie Val who used to love that song (also Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" ... or by a rose? which was it). She used to dream with this song, about the man of her life and such. She has been going out with the same guy since the year we met, 1998 and I think that is so amazing... I miss her... I hope she invites me to their wedding because if I would have never gone along on that date from hell she would have never met him... LOL!

Also rememberin' Cam'ron's "What Mean the World to You" haaa I reminisce ridin' in boo's car in the city listening to brand new bootlegs with the windows down. And Jon doin' his funky dance. And Pizza Hut where the manager's name was Miss Ho and we were singing that part "I ain't one of 'em hoes..." ROFL!!!!!

Now listening to Faith Evans' "All Night Long" ha! I remember driving to East Hanover to get to work EVERY FRIGGIN MORNING in the summer time and remember that my feet were freezing all the time because of the ac blowing in the car...

So much a song can do. It can bring you joy, sadness, happy and bad memories. I think I will listen to my old cd's this afternoon and think about all the things I did, the stories I lived, the way they changed me, carried me through the years... the way they showed me life in the eyes of others... the way they walked me here.

Tuesday, March 25 2003

The war and all...

Let me just tell you all that out here in Italy we are getting majourly brainwashed with horrible images of dead US soldiers all over Iraq... I don't know what they are showing you in the US, but what we see here really hurts a whole damn lot.

The war is a touchy subject, those of you who know me and have read this blog know how I feel about it - and that I think there really is no such thing as peace.

When I saw those images of the captured US soldiers I started crying, cuz honestly, my heart is out there... even if you guys didn't want me LOL and I had to return to Italy... my fuckin heart goes to the US.

Juan... Anthony... I hope you guys are ok and somewhere very far away from the war. I hope you broke a leg or something so you can't leave or yet hope you are not good enough to go ... and not to think of a cowardly excuse, if you are there I hope you watch yourselves because I will be praying for you and for all the others.

And even if you see a fuckin white flag... shoot that biatch!!

Sunday, March 23 2003

Changing lives

I just got home from my parents' house, damn wearing my nice and comfy pajamas and totally chillin... I swear to Got, one day I will become a consultant, will go to my clients and say "What do you want" and they'll tell me I need a site like this that and this and that" and I'll say, okay, that will take me two weeks, see you then. Then seriously go home and work my fuckin' hours and be my own boss and such.

Sometimes I think my parents have completely lost their minds. Well they have a house at the beach, which is fab, then a couple of weeks ago they bought a house on the mountains (which was totally awesome) now they are thinking about buying a house outside of Milan because they are tired of living in the city.

Damn!! I'm saying, is buying a house as easy as buying groceries during the week? They told me they had seen the house and loved it so I said wait a gotdamn minute, you can't just buy the house without my trusty, intelligent and fundamental opinion! BWAHA...

And so today I went with them to see the house. And lemme just tell you, it's so so so cute! It's built on three floors and has a two car garage, a nice big backyard with cute flower trees planted in it, a nice porch, a Jacuzzi yah... all the works... plus it also has an additional fourth floor under the roof which can either be used as an extra big room (you can stand in it) or as storage.

Doesn't sound like much for Americans I bet, considering the fact that I lived in a house just like that when I was there... but here in Italy it's a big deal... and let's just say that unless you are ass loaded ain't no way you are gonna find a four-floor house with a nice pretty green backyard and a friendly neighborhood in New York City!!

So I don't know what they wanna do, I think they are going to go for it... but seriously, they are indeed giving up on the wondrous city attractions and such... whatever.

Sometimes I wish I didn't live in the city... it's smelly, gray, messy, chaotic, dirty, dangerous... what do you think?

Well, lucky them, they can choose and buy yet another house... I wish I could go along with them because Milan really blows...

Sunday, March 16 2003

Suitable

So I am supposed to go to work tomorrow but I am not in bed yet, yeah, that's not good cuz then tomorrow I'll wake up a zombie and yawn so much that I will cry and my jaw will hurt from opening my yawning mouth too much...

Don't think I've fallen off the face of the earth, I am still here. It's just that since my bandwidth problem I have been laying low with the site, don't wanna piss off my host for some stupid ass reason.

So, tomorrow I start a new job! Yes, always in the same company but I will be assistant to the manager of the corporate image department. This is big news to me considering that I will be doing a whole lot of communication and such!

When I spoke to my new boss she told me straight up I had to leave my full availability, sometimes 9 to 9 and even on weekends. I think that totally blows but it's necessary plus I think that if I will be doing something I'm into I won't be sitting around looking at the clock, waiting to get the hell out!

She also told me I need to wear a jacket all the time. Yeah, before I thought I had it hard with fancy sweaters and nice pants but nope, now it's all about suits kids.

So this weekend I went out and bought a navy skirt suit, a nice white shirt and an amazing white blazer to put over the ensemble... shit cost me $433!!! And thank Gawwd I knew the owner, otherwise it would have all cost me $683... damn. All that money for just 1 outfit!

You know, the typical outfit that you wear to go to a job interview, or the suit that you keep wrapped up in your closet for really really important occasions, like weddings and such... well, that will be my fuckin' wardrobe from now on...

Lemme just tell you, when I was getting out of the fitting room in a suit I felt like a mix of a little girl in her sister's shoes and a teleported woman from the 80's... it will take me a while to get used to the idea of wearing suits, but you know what? I think it's grand!

So I am so positive and confident that this will be a lot of fun for me... at least I hope so with all my heart! I will get back to let you all know how it went ok?

Hugggzz

Me

Saturday, March 15 2003

Friday 5

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not?

Luv ittt! I mean, what's life without the phone! Love to sit in front of the couch and talk to my girlfriends about total bullshit, also criticizing celebrities on television... and luv to talk about boys too! (or at least relationships in general)

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?

Well, the last long phone conv I had was yesterday morning with my mom. We were talking about clothes.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home?

Only one, not counting my cell phone. But I do live alone and in a small apartment.

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened?

Huh? If you got bad phone manners the only thing that's gonna happen is me hangin' up the phone on you... you can count on that.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not?

Depends... phone is easier to blab because you talk and don't waste any time typing. But e-mails are also great to send and receive... plus, they are free!
 

Wednesday, March 12 2003

Anastacia- "Paid My Dues"
[Spoken:]
You can say what you want about me
Wanna do what you want to me
But you cannot stop me

I've been knocked down
It's a crazy town
Even got a punch in the face in LA
Ain't nothing in the world that could keep
me from doing what I wanna do

'Cause I'm too proud, I'm too strong
Live by the code that you gotta move on
Feel excited for yourself
and got nobody no way

so I...
(Held my head high)
Knew I (Knew I survive)
Well I made it (I made it)
I don't hate it (Don't hate it)
That's just the way it goes
Yeah
I done made it through
Stand on my own two
I paid my dues, yeah
Try to hold me down
You can't stop me now
I paid my dues

[Spoken:]
So like I told you
You cannot stop me
I paid my dues

Now I'm still trusted every day
people try to mess with Anastacia
gotta nothing in common
cause I handle mine
and I thought I better let you know

I'm no punk I can get down
I don't give a damn about who's around
that was just fine 'til now

So I...
(Held my head high)
Knew I (Knew I survive)
Well I made it (I made it)
Oahh (Don't hate it)
That's just the way it goes
Yeah
I done made it through
Stand on my own two
I paid my dues
Yeah yeah
Tried to hold me down
you can't stop me now
I paid my dues, yeah
yeah yeah yeah
Took so long to get me here (here)
But I won't live in fear (fear)
You try to steal my shine (shine)
But first they wanna build you up (up)
Then they tear you down (down)
It's a struggle, you try to bubble
so I...
(Held my head high)
Knew I (Knew I survive)
Oahh (I made it)
(Don't hate it)
Said that's - just - the - wayyyyy
(I done made it through)
(Stand on my own two)
I said I paid my, I paid my dues
Yeahhhhh
(Tried to hold me down)
But you can't stop me now (you can't stop me now)
(I paid my dues) I paid my, paid my dues
(I done made it through) oahhh
(Stand on my own two) oh
(I paid my dues) I paid my, I paid my dues
yeahh (Tried to hold me down)
But you can't stop me now (you can't stop me now)
(I paid my dues) I paid my dues

GUYS, BE HAPPY FOR BUBBLESNOW... you'll find out why soon enough!

March 11, 2003 @12,00am

Never on time

Pss, it's really still March 10, but I figured what the heck, I'll list this as March 11!

Today was soooo bad! Let's just say that the alarm clock woke me up, I opened my eyes and thought "Why am I so rested? Not grumpy?" then I listened to the alarm's radio station playing... "Why is this DJ on? What happened to the usual cute chick who talks about the hot songs?"

Then I looked at the time... no, it can't be... IT CAN'T FUCKIN' BE 8,42!!!! It is supposed to be 7,42... ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Seriously, a part of me said "I'm gonna call in sick" but ever since I started this job I never faked being sick so I felt bad. Yeah call me a dumbass but still, my ass got ready in like 5 minutes (while it usually takes me at least half an hour) and when I left the house I was so afraid I had forgotten something important, like underwear! But nope, got to work 15 minutes late, had my day, which was overall ok, then I was also late for my gym class at night because SOME PEOPLE who will remain unnamed decide to give you a task to complete at a friggin' quarter to six, fifteen minutes before you are supposed to leave.

But I went to the gym anyways and just soaked like a whale in the pool, then soaked in the jacuzzi, went into my beloved steam room and just chilled.

So here I am now, during commercial break of "What Women Want."

Tutaloo!

March 10, 2003 @ 12,00am

Friend departed

Well, I am gonna slide in a quick post tonight, before I go to bed. Tomorrow (or should I say later today) I'll be starting a new week at work and my partner in crime friend Delia (also gym buddy) will no longer be there.

Why? Because she was offered a job in Rome and she is moving down there... that's like a plane ride away and such. I am so happy for her because she always wanted to live in Rome however I'll be so lost and lonely without her LOL I mean she was my lil' buddy.

A part of me also wonders just what in the world will be of me. I mean, my temp contract expires on April 14 and I just have no clue what will happen... just get a little sad because my ambition sometimes drives me to my own depression... I just don't wanna waste any time, don't want go the wrong direction.

I have so much in mind. So I figure, I will just let the wind take me wherever it leads me towards.

Must never forget I'm a fighter, even if I am such a kindhearted person that a simple blow will easily knock me to the ground. But yeah, tonight was Delia's goodbye party and I didn't go, told her I'll see her when she comes back to Milan next weekend to close up all bureaucracy.

She saw my site, like, once, and said it was hot but I highly doubt she will be reading this.

Well, anyhows, this post is for her - it's been fun even if it didn't last that long... lotsa luck and see ya when I get there...

March 9, 2003 @ 12,50pm

Bar Performance

So last night I went off to a bar with friends. Ugh, I can still smell smoke on my skin, I am about to go into the shower.

But last night I met two American girls who were studying abroad in Paris and had come to Italy for the weekend.

Some chick came up to us and asked if any of us spoke English and so I'm like shitttt finally get the chance to brush up on it considering the fact that the only times I speak English is on the phone with boo.

Lemme just tell you that we were soooo nice to those two chicks, like only Italians can be.

Considering the fact that we knew the band that was playing we made one of the two girls go up to sing "Let it Be" and we were crackin' up!! Then all of a sudden the singer goes "There's another singer in the house, and now she will come up here and sing for us, her name is Federica!!" I'm like WTF???

Turned around to look at that cheese face Sara who had set me up, the bitch LOL.

So indeed I went up and sang Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do" with the American girl. I think we utterly sucked, cuz honestly, you put me in a choir and I sing my heart out but me alone with the girl next to me who was barely whispering... damn LOL.

But it was fun! I guess if I was drunk it would have been the shit but since I am getting too used to screwdrivers one of them just wasn't enough to do the trick.

So I'm off to my parents' house now, I will check in soon. What sucks now is that I have to be on my computer to upload logs but we'll see what I can do about that.

Luv ya and happy Sunday!

SIGN THE TAGBOARD FOR COMMENTS!

March 8, 2003 @ 12,38pm

Site update

Ok, goodness knows what has been going on with my site lately.

I got 2 emails from my host, one saying that my .cgi Greymatter stuff was creating problems with the whole server, another saying I had exceeded my monthly quota.

They are basically recommending the advanced plan which would cost me a whopping $13,95.

As many of you I say "Fuck no!" and screw that, honestly. Since I guess my hosting company doesn't work on weekends I guess I'll receive more info on Monday.

I have an annual contract with them- now, I think it is expiring in June or July.

There is no way I intend to spend that much money on hosting, especially for something I am not even sure about.

If this host gives me more problems I will direct bubblesnow.net elsewhere... honestly. I would hate to do that because I have been their client for a year and a half now... but this is ridiculous...

So this is why I haven't posted anything in this log lately. Not cuz I didn't have time or anything. I will keep you posted about what goes on... probably work on something new. But depending on what happens, my site may be down at times... I really hope that will not happen but I don't know what else to do.

Talk to ya soon,

Federica

View last month's logs