Wednesday, April 14 2004

Italians held hostage + the war on terrorism

We are living in a world where we cannot longer feel safe.

We are living in a world in which people hate so much that in order to defend their OWN faith kill others. We are living in a world in which people think that blowing themselves up and killing innocent people will assure them a safe place near THEIR God.

We are living in a world where religion is misinterpreted, or interpreted word by word.

And what are we supposed to do? Should we fight this type of mentality, should we prevent innocent people from getting killed without a reason or should we mind our own business?

And if we indeed mind our own business will these people just sit there and blow each other up leaving us live in peace? Obviously not.

Yesterday 4 Italians were kidnapped by a group of terrorists. Their conditions are that we must retire our troops from Iraq and apologize to the entire Islamic community.

All of those who watch the news and don't live in denial are worried about more terror attacks. Who knows, maybe one morning you wake up at 6,30am to start a shit day at work so that you can earn a living for your family and hop on a train that will never be able to take you to your destination.

Maybe you'll be walking down the street looking at the blue sky and smiling that life has its pleasures and suddenly that is the very last thought you are allowed to have.

It's like you are a soldiers in Iraq who has never even seen his newborn child, fighting a ghost, running full speed against a wall blindfolded, thinking about the life you could have elsewhere while you are cooped up underground with other abandoned souls of those who are there to protect their country.

And the problem is that anywhere you turn they might be sitting next to you in the subway, living above you, working with you, selling you something at the dollar store... or whatever the hell they do. Who do you trust nowadays? Where can you feel safe? Who do you turn to?

Friday, April 9 2004

Just when you thought it was getting better...

Shit. Why is it that when things are finally starting to look and seem right life goes back to its same old shitty direction?

It's been raining for the past two days and it's quite cold. I hate my job in this type of weather.

In case I haven't already told you I teach English for this Language School and I am a consultant who has to travel throughout all of Milan to teach at different companies.

It's quite a tiring job considering the fact that I also happen to be the laziest ass alive but deep down I do like teaching.

However, waking up at 7am and leaving my comfy bed to welcome this sad old city is not the best feeling in the world.

Easter is on Sunday, I am going to my parents' house to "celebrate." 

burn off the cellulite that haunts my existence. Why, why, why did I use to be so skinny and now it takes me nothing to put up weight?

Why can't women like Queen Latifah come into style so that us normal girls can just be considered perfect? What is perfection anyways?

According to the idea that I got from men about what they really find hot here is what I think is perfection in their minds:

1) a very big rack (34C minimum- pull out them Victoria's Secret silicone filled Wonder bras!!)

2) a small waist (shit how is that weak waist gonna support the huge tetas???)

3) a big ass, no, a small ass, dammit, it depends on the guy. So purchase and keep in stock a Stairmaster and 50 boxes of chocolate chip cookies to achieve perfection.

4) a girl who is skinny and looks good in a triangle bikini and a thong

5) a girl who does not settle with simply a small salad and who eats with pleasure at the restaurant (so according to point 4 and 5 we are supposed to stick two fingers in our throat and say goodbye to what's left of that pizza we ate with so much joy in front of you...)

6) long, blond hair is the ideal. Flowing curly locks that rest oh so gently upon our ladylike candid shoulders and reflect the warm spring sun rays of a beautiful day of March (that, I guess, means no dark roots showing and spend 1 hour to do your hair right so that you don't look like a mop).

7) They want a girl with a healthy glow, and that means nice make-up. But you must pray to God that the next morning you wake up with him in your "real face" he will not throw rotten eggs at you and throw you out of the house in your underwear.

8) Nice clothing is a must. A sexy mini skirt and a nice tank top to show off your tits, some racy stiletto above-the-knee high boots, killer loop earrings and such. But only if you are not his girlfriend cuz otherwise he'll (a) think you are a slut (b) that you're trying to make him jealous (c) that you're trying to get with other people.

9) oh, and you must not be on the rag cuz if you are you will look like shit, be moody and be unable to do anything... sigh

Mind you that although guys want this you can have all of it but it will just never be good enough. Meaning, either they will want more or even worse they will take it for granted after a while). I know there are many more, as soon as I think of them I'll tell ya!

So below is a list of books that I must buy as soon as possible. You might not give a damn but I do!

- Angels & Demons, Dan Brown

- Deception Point, Dan Brown:

- Digital Fortress, Dan Brown

- The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd

- Life of Pi, Yann Martel

K, now I'm really done bullshitting, Happy Easter to everyone and keep them chocolate eggs coming!!

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Wednesday, April 7 2004

Bright sunshiny day

So today is such a nice spring day that I figured I'd take my digi  out and take a few pictures. In days like these even who lives in this city has a reason for smiling. The sky is like the one you create with Photoshop! I did not retouch these pictures cuz I wanted to give you a real sense of what Milan is really like.

The first pic you see is (duh) the sky, the second is the street in front of my house and the third is the small balcony in the back of my apartment. Those of you who really love me or care might remember the geraniums! I love them because I rarely water them and they are beautiful anyways... I have a poisonous thumb ya know!

So I decided to open a new gallery dedicated to the shit city that is Milan and share with you the joy of it. This is a beautiful day so at least we start nicely!

Latest plug: Sweater accident (nudity)

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Sunday, April 4 2004

It just isn't the same

I sigh at the thought that letting my warm Spring Sunday flow by with the soft music of Sinatra is just not sweet enough. Nothing is the same when he isn't here. We spent an amazing 5 days together and suddenly no more.

It's already 4,20 in the afternoon and I have not yet made the bed. I simply covered the pillows with the sheet because I don't want his scent to fly away as well.

I have no idea how much longer this torture of being apart will go on for but I already miss him and he just left this morning.

Sorry if there's nothing else I can say but my heart is somewhere else right now...

Latest Plug: Leciram

Tuesday, March 23 2004

Open your heart and mind to a book

I love to read. And I don't mean just read an article or a few miserable pages of an empty book.

I love to be wrapped within and throughout the story of a book and I am so interested in what it narrates that it becomes a good friend. I like to bring it with me everywhere and dedicate even the smallest scraps of free time available, to pay attention to its details and ESPECIALLY to appreciate its writer.

There are books that are so good you read them from cover to cover in 3/4 days others that just take more to read because they are so intelligent and make you think "who knew?"

I just finished reading an amazing book by an Italian writer (get it here), from the 'title page' to the 'acknowledgements' in the end and I feel so enlightened and pleased by it that I am even sorry to leave it be on the shelf with the other past readings, treasures of another point in my life.

Monday, March 22 2004

Not always peachy keen

It's too bad to say that there are more ups than downs in life. There are times during which your life is so fucked up that you just feel like hiding in your house and never come out again. Other times when you feel that everyone and everything around you is against you, each in a different way.

So you find yourself racing SLOWLY and desperately through the day, going through a constant, repetitive motion, as the days, the months, sometimes the years pass by.

You wake up in the morning and wish it was already the end of the day, so you just wait wait wait ... for another sun to rise ... and around, around it goes.

There are also some amazing times in life, when situations are so favorable that you are actually able to stop a minute and stare at the sun, a blooming flower, a happy family, anything that is good in this world. But sadly this only happens 1/5 of your lifetime and it goes as quickly as it comes.

I am 23 years old now, old enough to know how life works and yet young enough to get hurt by every new shit that comes my way. I think I'm still way too transparent, too innocent, too naive for this world.

There are some people who are supposed to be the closest to me, and I am talking about family members, whom I haven't seen since last Christmas. People who call me just because they feel it's some good deed they have to do to feel good about themselves. There are people who are supposed to love me and who don't even know what I am doing with my life.

And other times you have other people around you that simply surprise the shit out of you. Sometimes you discover things that are so unexpected that they practically stab you in the heart merciless. You think how can people you love hurt you so badly.

I am tired of waiting for (some) family to expect something from me when they give me nothing. People who are supposed to be your blood, your mentors... and they are so fucked up that they don't even know how to mentor themselves from doing stupid shit.

And then I look at myself in the mirror: I may have many weaknesses. I may be a pain in the ass sometimes, and I may brag and drag on talking about the same boring shit. I may be paranoid and anxious, or even self-centered sometimes. But I am honest and I can look at someone in the face and tell them how I feel and ask them what type of relationship they expect to have with me, whenever they feel like it, or also when I may need help?

I have no regrets, and I only give chances to people that deserve them. The worst thing for me is disrespect and for that I have absolutely no mercy.

Sunday, March 14 2004

A productive weekend!

I had a great, productive weekend and am feeling quite rested and satisfied.

Since cicci went off to Vienna with his coworkers I had to keep myself busy and that's just what I did!

On Friday I went out with Sinem to the centre, we watched "Along came Polly" it was the typical Ben Stiller movie and, just as expected, it was funny as hell! Then we went to the bookstore to flip through some mags and then went back home.

On Saturday I woke up at friggin' 12am, it was amazing cuz I didn't have anyone bothering me and stressing me out. I did tha couch potato thang all afternoon and in the evening I went out with Mari, we went food shopping at this big store that sells all types of stuff, then we went to our favorite spot Pastarito and ate like piggies!

This morning I woke up late again and since 1 pm I've been cleaning out the whole house. I reorganised furniture and dusted out the bookcases it was unbelievable cuz usually it takes me days to clean the house since I easily get tired. But here I am now, just finished washing the floor, now I'm gonna put on my purifying mask, cook dinner and take a nice shower. Then do my work for tomorrow.

Yeah I know you may think "whoooo cares" but since I am satisfied with my weekend I thought I'd share it with you.

K the Mariah website is coming along fine, I'm currently in the brainstorming process, the tagboard it now a pop-up so please make sure you still leave messages.

Also check out tha MC gallery, more updates are coming!!

Wednesday, March 10 2004

Read- it makes you smarter

No, I am not gone, still around, working, keeping my head up.

Besides teaching I have been doing a lot of reading lately, during the traveling time that I spend in the subway and on breaks at Milan coffee shops.

My latest book is by Dan Brown, it's called "The Da Vinci Code" now lemme just tell you it's one powerful reading! It's very smart but what I like most about it is that it ties fiction with reality. If you like intelligent readings and mystery novels then I suggest this one to whoever wants something different.

Did you know for example that in the Last Supper by Da Vinci there is a woman? Great book!

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