Archives > June 2007
I don't think I could have eaten humanely more than I did tonight! I went to Nu with Ada, and we both ate like piggies... let me think, I had a few makis that Ada couldn't eat (she ordered a million things) plus my usual tossed rice with fish and a big mixed sushi, I think it was 10-12 pieces... afterwards I had some Japanese mango, very delicious. I left the place almost by crawling on the floor! But what excellent food, yes, indeed.
I decided to get home early tonight, yesterday I was out till late to celebrate a friend's birthday plus tomorrow morning is bellydance and afterwards I have to go to my grandmother's then my mom's... on Sunday I have to do some cleaning... I already have the whole weekend planned out for me, if I don't go out tomorrow night then Sunday and alternating I'll be studying advanced Dreamweaver layout techniques for my latest course. Sorry I haven't got more to say, but besides being tired I feel as if my belly is going to burst!
It's 11.49pm and I will attempt the impossible tonight, come up with a decent meaningful point before collapsing on my bed and falling victim to my perpetual life routine. I guess this strive of originality is due to the fact that I have obtained an extra bar of battery as I just woke up from sleeping the entire length of the evening movie on my couch. Thanks to Tigro I woke up, he just got on the couch and stared at me nose to nose, with his beady eyes as to say "what the hell is your plan, you're worse than a slug."
Let's get to the topic at hand... I have an acquaitance, a very nice looking man, who I knew up to now was a big playboy. This is no more, as he met some girl out of nowhere and after a month together he decided to move in with her... I don't understand the logic of some men and due to the fact I seem to be meeting the rotten ones only I will try to below mention the eventual possibilities:
1) he thinks he's old and that it's time to finally shack up
2) she is seriously the woman every man dreams, and he felt he cannot let her get away (YEAH RIGHT!)
3) voodoo is involved, and he's victim to a spell that had him completely lose his mind.
God knows I'm queen of doing things too fast, because of that I tell you, how can two people meet and so quickly fall in love to the point of moving in together? Does that mean that the fairy tale exists after all?
There is that bitch who did everything right and barely lifting a finger supposedly found a man so worthy she even welcomed him into her house... while I am here dealing with "Game boys." I'll explain. Recently it has come to my random knowledge that exists a special guide written by a pick-up artist which teaches men to choose, pick up and bed a girl, without ever getting the guilt trip of calling her the next morning. When I discovered this I was completely speechless, as this completely shattered my sad hope of imagining my life with a half decent man! The friend who told me gave me a few details. He's also a game boy, and he always says silly things, like when he's interested in a girl he doesn't show it and gives her the impression that he doesn't care whatsoever... or how he picks up a girl in a bar, there is a technique, he told me a while ago, that a friend of his uses; he goes up to his victim and asks her, "how do you think I would look as a blonde?" When he told me I said COME ON what kind of a stupid pick-up method is that, and he replied that it is a question so bizarre and far fetched that it is bound to get some kind of reaction, and while the woman is standing there trying to make sense of it all the most skilled pick-up artist already has a few open questions to ask.
You see, by the way he described the whole thing it all made it seem like fishing, hunting... going to a club and choosing the girl the best pick-up artist KNOWS will play along, getting her to fall so hard and fast she doesn't even have the time to ask questions...
I thought this whole game boy universe was so very far away from me, until last week I received a private message in an online community, where this guy asked me if I was one of the bellydancers he saw the evening before. Well I was dumbstruck, the guy noticed me in a crowd of 200 dancers and even told me on which side of the dancefloor I was and what I was wearing. What did my poor little self think, wow I really struck this guy's attention! hmmm, maybe... who knows...
We start to exchange messages, he's not aggressive in his way of writing, then again he's somehow drawn, it's like a mystery, trying to figure out who he is what he does, and especially what he wants from me... I add him to msn and we start talking and that's when I notice his screen name ... and ask him for clarifications. Well his nickname, "blonde," he says, is because "he often goes up to girls to ask them how he would look as a blonde, perhaps," he continues, "is because he was blonde when I was a kid?"
I CANNOT BELIEVE at that point, that yours truly, girl who so far thought she had the cleverness to AT LEAST spot out a rotten apple fell for the game boy charm... in a world where, it seems, everything is technological.
People writing false identities at a keyboard, watching far-fetched movies, operating innovative widgets such as ipods and blackberry, I guess it's a given that the modern guy has come up with a way to explain women on a MANUAL... and knows what we dream of, what we search for, what we think about, and takes this information, elaborates it all not because he wants to move in with you like my acquaitance did with that bitch I spoke about earlier (don't mind me, it's just sane woman to woman envy) but spend a night with you, a few hours which have a beginning and an end... to leave forever into the oblivion from where he came, like something you only dreamed... more a nightmare though, not the fairy tale.
Here's perhaps the most decent picture from the recital, I'll put up a few more when I get the chance!
I decided to stay home tonight, because I am not in the mood to go nuts. I am tired, I guess it's this wacky season that keeps on changing into cold rainy days and suddenly into sauna. The damn air conditioning at work did it again, and I have a cold now. I said to myself that this weekend I was going to study, read, look at furniture, relax, listen to Sinatra, bla bla bla...
Woke up this morning went to my bellydance, had sushi with Sabrina, so far same routine. In the afternoon I went to this furniture store near Bergamo where I had found a beautiful table with chairs that I wanted, my mom had told me it was closing down so all the way to Dalmine then went the wrong way and had to pay toll for the freeway 3 times, finally got there to discover the place had closed last Sunday, just peachy keen, they even had all the rubble on the ground because they were even tearing the entire structure down to the ground no need to ask them if they still had a table left for me in their warehouse...
Despite it all I am gonna develop a list of to do things, which is NOT like the resolutions list on your right, no, this list will be dedicated to the small things that seem so easy to do but I never put into realizable prospetcive, so here we go:
Study comfortably without ever feel like I'm late
Finish watching the second season of Twin Peaks (and keep repeating to myself that it's just fiction, that Laura Palmer had it coming and that Bob incredibly resembles a bright and funny friend of mine)
Visit family more often
Go to the gym and start back that abs class
Read a magazine I like from cover to cover
Play with my cat
Clean out my balcony and position a small lawn chair where I can sit to tan during weekends
Come up with an interesting decorating scheme for my bathroom, which hopefully will include bamboo plants without spending a week's worth of pay on greens I'm obviously going to end up murdering mercilessly (I'm awful with plants)
Make a few trays of lasagna to store in the freezer, so that I can be original when I bring it to a friend's house
Start back on my polymer clay projects
Start back on that needlepoint I bought 2 years ago... no, scratch that, START IT period.
Write more often, preferrably things that make sense.
Oh! I forgot to tell you that Thursday I had my recital, it was wonderful! I was so nervous especially before and at the beginning, my legs were shaking, but when I got the hang of it I had a great time, plus I got to bond with some girls there and to show off my costume. Now I gotta come up with something else to wear. I just bought a bra but I don't know if I'm gonna get it on time for the next show. We dance on July 1st, July 6th and July 20th... plus I want to get a white skirt :)
While we were getting ready to perform I was thinking with my new friend Adriana, who the heck would have ever though?? Here we are half naked waiting to show the world how we shake our bellies, weighing 2 kilos more from all those jingling coins hanging from our tits, LOL!
A night that changed the obvious course of things
the river that gently swam towards the sea diverted
it was the night that all that didn't make sense had its meaning
that moment I saw you made me shift my focus
Summers and holidays together, rides on your motorcycle
talks on the phone, laughter and conversation
about life, death, love, hate
and that little bug I found in my glass of water at lunchtime
Moments of togetherness when nothing mattered but our sweet encounters
hours of tears to reminisce while we were apart
evenings walking on the beach hand in hand
days we spent planning away our lives together, and what never came to be
It's always late, when I write, it's always dark when I come to ponder
how different my life has been these past few months
did you find solace far away from me, or are your just trying to let me go?
do you want to stop remembering the flowers that bloomed
those spring afternoons that weren't long enough for our hearts to spill onto?
It's always night when I think and realize, how far away it all is now
how when we choose to deviate our course we often don't consider the odds of turning back
we fail to take into account the current, which now I realize, carried us worlds apart.
I sit as I write tonight, and I imagine your warm land and the sound of the waves
the smell of pine trees on the mountains your used to take me to
now that here it smells like rain.
Gotta admit I completely photoshopped out my underarms, it was a hoooooooooot night! Also the red eyes...
I swear I feel like I didn't even have a weekend to begin with, it's actually Monday already because it's 1am and I am BEAT! On Friday evening I went to teach and came home, practically passed out on my couch. Saturday morning I went to bellydance class, later had one hour of teaching and later that afternoon met up with Ste to get a birthday present for our friend Annalisa, in the evening we met up for a pizza. It sucked that I had to give into the temptation to eat pizza after all this effort I'm putting into my diet, I MUST LOOK HALF DECENT in my new VS bikini this summer!
This morning I did some housework and went to the Haila Shmaya association for 3 hours of tryouts for the recital, and after I came home passed out on my bed for an hour. This evening I went to Annalisa's birthday party, which means there are some monstrous pictures of yours truly in mousy hair and an orange top circulating which I will of course put on the website because eventually I'll end up taking pictures of what I eat, even, LOL.
Hope your weekend was pleasant, despite all the hecticness I am happy with where I am at this time. I have a job that doesn't stress me out excessively, I am studying web design which to me is a dream since as long as I can remember, I have friends and family to spend my free time with, I am trying to improve myself by keeping in shape... I am not going to tell you I am wishing for that special person because I know it's not the time yet, all my life I've been running, and everytime I made steps which were longer than my leg.
It's today, it's tonight, and I care about me... this is really all the love I'll ever truly need.
So Thursday will be my first ever bellydance recital, first because last time I came down with bronchitis and couldn't embarass myself YET. But time has come to meet my doom, and worst off I'll face it dressed like a fool. It's fun though so I hope it'll go well!
Here I am again in the same exact place as yesterday, tonight is a lot cooler, but who the hell cares, it's not everyday you get to open your room window and see the black Bosphorus waters below and all around you.
Today was a rough day, in a meeting from 9 to 5, taking notes, being of assistance, keeping a smile on my face. If it weren't for yesterday's cruise I wouldn't have seen an inch of this city, it sucks to travel for business because all you most of the time get to do is spend time in a hotel meeting room.
After tonight's dinner I
decided, as yesterday, to take a hot bath in the jacuzzi, and just before I took
a few minutes to write to you I was combing my hair at the window.
I hate my hair, I have to wash it 3 times a week and when I comb it, it goes all
over the place. Just as I thought of that I stuck my hand that was clutching a
few hairs out of the window and opened it. I saw the strands slowly but steadily
drifting away in the nightly breeze. And to think, despite the hecticness of it
all, that my DNA is floating somewhere in Asia, being carried away by whichever
current, leaving for some place I don't know, a miserable but everlasting piece
of me.
ps. remind me when I'm rich to buy a house on the sea, lake, river, whichever water source. My writer's vein is pumping more than ever.
The pictures below were taken at 5am before the car came to pick me up
I feel it
and I can reach it
just with the tip of my index finger
I can touch heaven
the lonely freedom of having nothing to lose
him and I
as if in front of this immensity there is nothing I could do
to provoke a sound
to provide a shift
now that I can see it all so closely
I see how far away I could reach
I see there's always a horizon I can't reach
and a sky that I can't touch
despite my hopeful efforts to breathe in - the moon
the waves collide and try to wake - the silence
the black water is one with passing ships
the clouds seems to illuminate this summer sky
amidst a sight so strange to me
I can't see, I can't imagine
how deep the oceans, how vast the land
how tall the mountains, how far the future
how precious is my loneliness tonight.
So I'm sitting on the ledge of a window in my magnificent room, one foot on the framing. If I look down and ahead and beyond all I see is water, the Bosphorus.
This marvellous hotel is located on the Asian side of Turkey, and that means that as I am writing to you, in this fair night where all I hear is the soft tickle of the water on the pier, that I am in a brand new continent.
If I look ahead and see Europe, but it's a different sight as I notice the tall minarets of the mosques in the horizon.
Over here 5 times a day you can hera them pray as a foreign voice speaks from loudspeakers and, supposedly, the entire muslim world is supposed to stop to pray.
Tonight was quite nice, we had dinner on a cruise boat on the Bosphorus, and I was so proud of myself as 1) I had the balls to wear the white suit 2) I didn't spill anything on it.
Tomorrow is going to be a rough day - meeting till 4 - and hopefully time before the restaurant to at least see the famous bazar - they say you can find the nicest things there.
Went to see JT in concert
last night, I really like his music but didn't expect it to be so good!
He's
a 360° artist, he plays guitar and piano, is an amazing dancer and has an
excellent voice, I didn't think it would be so flawless especially live and
after doing all that dancing!!
Cherry on top of the cake was when Timbaland came out on stage, I totally didn't expect it in Milan! He did a mid-show mix performance featuring hot beats throughout history, many of them his own, also remembering Aaliyah... it's too bad that nobody in Italy knows who she was, well I thought it was really tight, and was really upset when his performance ended.
This is Justin's encore performance from another date he did somewhere in the world, it's an amazing song I hope they make it into a single.