Archives > January-February 2006

Tuesday, February 21 2005

Bubble's landed on myspace... at last!

I did it just for fun, just for curiosity, well when I looked around I found people I used to know, like a gagillion years ago that I didn't even remember! Or people I do remember (duh otherwise I wouldn't have recognized them) but didn't think about for even a half second!

Well, turns out the sluttiest people I knew now have a family with children, some girls I used to remember as beautiful got quite ugly now and... vice versa!

Daniela told me about someone who that had changed SO MUCH I didn't even recognize her!

well, this myspace thing is cool, of course I'm not gonna post blog entries there cuz I'd rather do it here... it's neat and more of a tradition. But I'll be on that thing quite often so holla at me ok?

Oh yeah, I also saw people on that thing that I talk to on a regular basis but didn't even know were members!

It's crazy how much the world changes, how much you don't know about people, and how much despite having used the internet since 1995 it still amazes and surprises me!

Monday, February 20 2005

Say what??

Sometimes I start to feel like shit, whenever I think about myself, my age and how far I have come. My ungrateful self starts picturing how life would have been had I made different decisions and followed the opposite direction. Then again I look around and see that the people in my life all have something to complain about.

I'm not going to sit here and, minding their business, explain to you what I mean exactly but all I can say is that whenever I realize that these people have it worse than me I start to feel a little better.

There are a few things I wish I had though, a steady group of friends I could actually count on... all people I dealt with were acquaitances, or better they had started off as friends but turned out to be a great disappointment (maybe I counted on/trusted them too much??).

I wish I had a chance to snap a finger and suddenly find myself back in the United States, for just enough time to realize that the place I left in 2002 is not the way I remembered it, that I have changed and that nowhere in the world is wonderland of dreams.

I wish I also had a bit more control when it comes to eating chocolate... I dano if it's due to lack of love, but lately I have been eating way too much of it.

Ok I must tell you a bit of what I am talking about, because I can't hide it from you plus think that one day seeing it written down on this blog it'll make me smile and reminisce at how I saw the world.

Take my coworker, the one I always fight with, she's constantly going out with "friends" but to the coolest places... not only concerts, but original restaurants, theatres... she has friends all over Italy and often hops on a train and spends a weekend in someone's city, taking pictures and taking the responsibilities of life (and house chores) so lightly it's beyond my character.

Yesterday, for example, she went to Torino for the Olympic games... seems like the city was having this "white night" where all stores, theatres, bars and museums are open until dawn, transportation worked too! well, I believe she went to Torino on Saturday night, spend the entire night partying outside then went directly to see this competition she had tickets for on Sunday morning. Today she's not at work because she seems to have caught a cold... but really, when I hear this stuff she does it makes me feel so old... because I love partying once in a while and lived a period of my life when I did get to hang around and come back home whenever I deemed appropriate... but then again the girl is 32... and I am 25... at 25 I tell myself that it's nice to do wild things every now and then, but not all the time!! I think about the fact that during the week I am always at work so during the weekends I like to relax, and my way of fun is going shopping or watching a movie with S or going to the gym and such... so I'm thinking... am I the old fart or is she the dillusioned immature girl??

One time I realized why she's always doing these things, by the way also taking trips and visiting European capitals about once/twice a year... I think she is fundamentally so alone that she's afraid of going home to an empty house and crying at the sight of a dark room without a friendly hello. Why is it that I LOVE living on my own? Is it cuz I am a hag? I enjoy my freedom, walking around the house in my puffy slippers holding onto a bag of my favorite cookies, watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" about 3 times in a row and then get up to sit in front of the computer and play "The Sims" ... I love going out, don't get me wrong, but in the end, my idea of spending the weekend is fundamentally to chill out.

Oh I so enjoyed this weekend and miss it with all my heart! On Friday night S and I went to eat in this small coffee shop then we walked up all Via Torino to window-shop for expensive clothes that would never fit us (or maybe S but not me) then on Saturday it was cold, grey and rainy so I stayed home like a bum all day long!! It was so wonderful, the more I looked outside the window and saw rain the more I felt like watching tv and napping... or reading my latest book Rosie Dunne.

On Sunday I took S to the gym with me, she finally came along and we did my usually workout class and later went into the jacuzzi, steamroom and sauna... I think she really loved it.

In the afternoon I went to visit my grandma and aunt, my parents were also there... it was just an ordinary weekend, no special parties nor olympic competitions to watch, nevertheless I loved it! And I wouldn't exchange it with anything else... especially not for an Olympic night...

Sunday, February 19 2005

Say what??

All right, this shit I gotta write down cuz I'm gonna wanna remember it whenever I feel blue. I just read on a message board that, according to US Weekly, Mariah is 5'9" and weighs 160 lbs... which is oh my god exactly what I am tall and weigh! I am actually 1.74cm and weigh 71/72 Kg!!

Whatever, yes, it's gotta be kept under control cuz it's not the best weight and it would be amazing to go down to 63/64 but still! If my girl Mariah is the same exact size I am and always says she's big cuz of muscle tone and (look again if you haven't) is extremely hot and sexy the way she is then damn!!! I am so happy to be the way I am! yes, a bit less would be proper but still, I am the same exact size as Mariah!! How can this be???

ps. here in Italy it's called being a fatso cuz here in Italy they are obsessed with weight... that's all they look at, or better, the first thing they notice in you... screw personality and politeness, first they look at your clothes then how well you fit in them!

Friday, February 9 2005

Foolishness due to boredom

Good afternoon, my faithful readers!

if you were to see me now I think you'd think "what's up with her??" I am just sitting here as all Friday afternoons with ugly hair I didn't get to wash last night because I was too tired, red eyes, no make-up, a baggy sweatshirt and a very nasty mood.

I am sure you men know what it's like to run into a woman who not only is at "that time of the month" but also has slept very little lately... equals to trouble.

This morning my stupid coworker who happens to be ALWAYS in a cranky mood (she must have that time of the month every day... possible for her) and this morning I was not willing to make peace for the better living... no way, I arrived at asking her what the fuck she was talking about and to mind her damn business.

It's not always you get to see ghetto Freddy, but when you do please run, it's for your own good. Othewise you'll get all dazed and stare and wonder at how different my personality can be... first the sweetest, most available person and next an aggressive, evil, unforgiving bitch.

Don't fuck with me. Really... save us both the time and the energy...

Sooooo I am bouncing in exactly 45 minutes... haven't spoken to that bitch all day long she's sitting in front of me and I am just not even counting she exists... well in a way I am cuz I'm wasting precious blog space and finger strength talking about her!

I feel so ugly today... I can't wait to get through the english lessons and then go have dinner with my friend... afterwards, as soon as I get home, I am just going to mellow on the couch...

I ordered 5 english books from www.bol.it after reading these reviews off amazon.com, I hope they will be good... they are basically all chick novels... why do I get like this sometime? I am recently in desperate need of a book that loves me :)

Friday, February 9 2005

Foolishness due to boredom

swear to heavens this is the longest afternoon of my entire existence! At least it tops it off, I feel like I have been sitting on the same chair in front of the same screen for a decade while, really, it's just another day.

Could it be because I'm grumpy, tired, bored and eager to return to this book I started reading yesterday?? Or maybe because my colleague is a bore who acts like the victim because she feels she has the weight of the world on her shoulders? I think it's ridiculous really, when people complain about their difficulties and underestimate other people's problems as if they were nothing compared to what the are going through...

or those people who you have to be extra careful when you talk to because you could tip them off or hurt their susceptibility... then you'd have to explain to them a million times what you meant so that you can survive the 40-hour-a-week working routine you are trapped within.

I wish I had a chance to play The Sims. At least I'd spend the time in the office, ready to answer to emails or phone calls when necessary... but Fridays my boss is m.i.a. (call him a fool) and there's really no strength nor conviction left in my body to get up and start reorganizing the files in the closet... so I linger, on Fridays, anxiously waiting for the next coffee break (which by the way is in 15 minutes) and, afterwards, the time when I'll be able to leave this place to enjoy the weekend.

It's not like I don't want to work... it's just that I don't have any important tasks to sort out... then again, I chose this life. Because first, I had to settle with what I could get in this country, something so far away from the original expectations I had when I graduated... but isn't that life in one way or another?? And second, because I have known what it's like to work so much you are more regarded as a servant rather than a human being, and I promised myself I would never go through with that again...

Tonight after work I'll go teach, then I'm heading straight home... don't feel like hanging out tonight, perhaps because the insomnia is finally starting to draw away every inch of entertainment ambitiousness? I'm just gonna lounge on the couch and keep reading my book, and fall asleep whenever and if ever I wish, without worrying about setting the alarm for the following day... oh forget it, actually tomorrow it'll be gym time again of course so I have to set it otherwise I'll risk sleeping past 2pm... sad but true.

So yesterday after work I went to the bookstore and got myself a few books, since my favorite store has the 30% discount going on... I bought the sequel to this Italian book, a wonderful love story between two young people... as a matter of fact I had mentioned it on one of my posts about a year ago, when I had read it and was swept away.

Afterwards I bought the English book "Rosie Dunne" cuz I'm sick and tired of reading its positive reviews by amazon visitors without having read it... then I bought a guide to Paris and finally a book about the oceans, with beautiful colorful pictures and explanations of the fish anatomy and the scientific description of waves etc... very interesting. Damn, I'd give anything to get an aquarium again, I miss mine so much!!! it's just that then it'll be a problem to move and take the fish with me, it hurt so much when I had to give up my aquarium and fish when I left the US!!!! 

I love just sitting on the couch while I read a book and hear the gentle splashing of the bubbly water and the colorful, elegant fish swimming around peacefully... sigh... well someday I'll get the fish again, and the cat... Fabio says that eventually we'll end up having a zoo instead of a house... that's what you get when you find yourself an animal lover!!!

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... ehmn... so this sucks...

I am still here, and it's 5.20pm, am going to leave in 15 minutes and of course they will seem more like hours. Do u know that a while ago I started packing up everything and turning off the computer when I realized it was 4.30 instead of 5.30??? Have u ever done that? Please tell me you have cuz I'd feel quite dumb about it... I am sure my colleague was thinking "wattafak is she doing???" well I pretended I was sorting out my files and putting stuff away so I started to pull out new things... and when I did that I figured what the hell, might as well do that filing I didn't feel like doing.

So here I am , there's nothing worse than feeling like a prisoner on a Friday afternoon... reminds me of this famous comedy guy, he did a lot of movies about this man named Fantozzi that had no luck in life whatsoever and all the bad shit happened to him. There's this scene where it's time to leave the office cuz it's almost 5pm and you see all the employees at their desks silently staring at the clock and then when it turns 5 everyone gets up screaming and jumps out the window... downstairs some people have the big mat that firefighters use when you have a fire... and when it's Fantozzi's turn, obviously the last... they have already removed the mat and he falls on his knees... of course he doesn't die but it's funny as hell. Guess you gotta watch it to understand... it's sort of like the coyote from Warner Bros. ... do u know the one?

Well, 10 more minutes, thanks for that... I am gonna start packing up even if everything already pretty much is... then tonight when I get home I'll post this and tell myself what a Fantozzi I am.

Thursday, February 8 2005

Fly like a bird

All right this image made me laugh!! This kid posted it on FOMM and needed to have it! I hated not being able to watch Grammys, went to bed last night at 2am because I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Mariah on the red... ehmn, green carpet and nothing. Only got to see a Farah Fawcett wannabe wearing a bodysuit and singing the most annoying disco-techno song of the year... if ya know who I'm talking about!

Anywayz, MC didn't need the majumbo like silly dressed dancers and 3D cartoon characters to make her performance smashing... simply her beautiful voice!!

Congrats Mariah for winning your three awards but just think that U2 has had enough recognitions... don't even get me started on details cuz I'll bore ya to death! Anyway, I'm off to bed, tata!

Saturday, February 4 2005

Have a great weekend!

There's nothing like a great morning at the gym working your ass out to burn the chocolate muffin, hot chocolate and half big chocolate chip cookie I ate last night with my friend... well, she had her own of course so to each about a gagillion calories... it's all stored in my ass.

In a minute I'll be leaving then, last night was such great fun... after the movie we walked to the Duomo area of Milan... when you see these areas of the city you wish you were a millionaire so you could afford living there, because if I had a house there even I would end up loving this city. Imponent buildings, clean streets, beautiful people, prada, versace, armani-scented air... just peachy.

Thank goodness I actually slept last night, I'm in a much better mood than I was yesterday... but maybe that is because today is Saturday!

Friday, February 3 2005

After the storm   

It's Friday, thank heavens... I am sitting at my desk in front of the computer and feel my eyes closing.

I've had problems sleeping all week long and don't know why, perhaps because of the 15-minute power naps that I take when I get home every evening... it's really difficult to stay awake so I usually lay down on the couch and snooze for a bit, and I guess I relieve all the tensnion because when it's time to sleep for real my eyes are wide open as buttons.

It's a torture, Fridays, really... because my boss is nowhere to be found and so there's not much for me to do... it's usually this way after he leaves Milan...

after the office I'm off to west bumblefuck to give english lessons, afterwards I'm going to watch a movie with Sinem, Pride and Prejudice... I have already watched the movie after downloading it from the internet and I liked it so much that I think it deserves seeing it again in the theatre.

Tmorrow I'm going to the gym and then I'm off to my mom's house, where I have a beautician appointment for a facial cleaning. In the evening time I'm going to this restaurant to celebrate a country-style version of woman's day called St. Agata ... there'll be dancing in this restaurant and supposedly no men are allowed... this is what happened last year, I wonder if the same will happen this time?

Saturday, January 28 2005

After the storm   

All right, it's not snowing anymore! I kind of miss seeing it fall down but it was causing way too much mess... it's good to have snow if you live in the country and are planning on staying indoors but if you live in a city you're just going to go bananas after a while!

Check out these pictures from December, one was taken on my birthday and the other two with my dogs in the mountains.

Friday, January 27 2005

Catching snowflakes on my tongue

It's so strange to look outside and see all the snow falling... I haven't seen this much snow since my days in New Jersey... and I haven't seen this much snow fall into Milan since 1984, when we had a memorable snowstorm that paralyzed the entire city. About 40cm have fallen by now, and it hasn't stopped snowing since yesterday morning (I feel bad for the people who hate snow!)

I don't even know why I am at work, maybe because I had a feeling today I'd have a bunch of stuff to get through in the office, or maybe because I felt like taking a nice walk and adventuring here (or could it be because I felt too guilty about calling out?).

Even a city like Milan looks wonderful dressed in snow, the concrete can't be seen and besides roads which are brown from the tires, everything looks clean... too bad Italians don't have the good habit of throwing salt or shoveling... I think about 60% of stores don't even have a shovel... yesterday on my way home I ran into the guy at the videostore, he was carefully dropping kitchen salt outside his store... with the little box, he looked quite confused by how much to use.

Most children stayed home... I know because I read it on the paper but also because as I was leaving the house the evil twins that live next door were still babbling, while usually they are out of the door at 8.00am . In the streets you see some children accompanied by parents grabbing as much snow as they can get with their little gloved hands on top of snow-glazed cars... in Milan it would be madness to grab snow off the ground (you'd risk picking up dogshit as well) or to take a small ball and eating it... but perhaps you could risk it by sticking your tongue out into the sky and waiting for enough flakes to land onto your tongue... then you are set.

The more I look outside the more I wonder what possessed me to come into the office but hey I'm here so I might as well make the best of it. And so I am off to work, I'll post this entry when I get home tonight.

Check out these photos of Milan covered by snow! ***HOVER OVER PHOTOS FOR COMMENTS!

Thursday, January 26 2005

Snowy Milan

Ok, for us here in Italy it's not that common to get this much snow... and who the hell knew it was coming! this morning I decided to leave the house with these cowboy-ish boots with a medium height heel and absolutely no rubber soles whatsoever... it started snowing this morning at 8.30 just as I was getting into work and it stopped... well it hasn't stopped yet and it's 12 hours later... I took a picture outside my window, because as boring as it is, that's all I get to see besides the road I walk everyday to work.

I had to move my car too because tomorrow they are washing the streets... so I went back downstairs with my fur boots and started scraping the snow off my car it sucked but at least I don't have to think about it anymore!!

Monday, January 23 2005

Got a new PC   

It's almost 5pm and I am at work, relaxing after a day of mayem... planes got cancelled due to strikes so I had to turn my boss' agenda around 360 degrees.. thank goodness all's over! Well the other side of the medal is that he's going to come to Milan tomorrow, rather that going to Copenhagen...

And to think that this morning I woke up with one of my "I think I'm gonna stay home sick" moods... thank heavens my guardian angel came to the rescue and whispered in my ear "get that fat lazy ass out of bed get dressed and fuck off to work" because at least I was able to reorganize all things around!

Ever since I got the new computer I've been watching crazy movies and playing videogames... I watched "40 Year-old Virgin" which was pretty funny if not for the excessive vulgarities in it (I think they tried too hard), then I saw "In her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz and I had to admit that the book was so much better! Plus I happen to despise Cameron Diaz so it wasn't completely enjoyable!

Afterwards I finally got to watch the latest rendition of "Pride and Prejudice" and loved it soooo much! I recommend it to everyone, that is if you are into romantic stories and Jane Austen! I have also watched the version of Pride and Prejudice featuring Colin Firth (yum!!) and right now I am at the first episode, I must say that is also pretty good!

Goodness, I feel my eyes shutting! and to think that tonight I have to go to hiphop! yes I must absolutely go! I got it... I'm going to leave at 5.30, in almost a half hour, and go home, change into my pajamas and fall asleep for a half hour... after that I'll go to the gym. See there, I must hang in and go because if I miss one class I am screwed!

Sunday, January 15 2005

Got a new PC   

I finally did it! I went and got myself a brand new computer, because mine was just soooo old I couldn't even keep two programs at once open before they went bust.

After lunch and my grandma and aunt's I took the car and went off to Carrefour and got this machine for 700€... it has no monitor because the one I have works just fine... sure it's not a flat screen but it's a 19 inch Viewsonic and I am happy with it. The people at the store took me for a broke-ass because I paid 100€ cash, 300€ ATM card and the remaining €300 by credit card but damn, it's not like I can charge that much at once!

Here is what my PC is about:

AMD 64 3200+

1GB DDR Ram

250GB Serial ATA hard drive (7200 rpm)

Video card Invidia Ge Force 6200 SE Turbocache

DVD RW dual layer

well, this is all I recognize now cuz it's written on the box :)

Friday, January 13 2005

Resolutions... revolutions?

Lately I've been needing to get in touch with my true self... I'm talking about digging deeply into my past and present to try and figure out where to head toward in the future.

I keep telling myself, "ok, calm down, this period happens to all of us, well, really the best of us because the people that want to be born, live and die in the same place don't have as many doubts."

I need to connect with the truth which I know must be lying somewhere inside of me, and ignore all outside influence. These are in the "just do it" category:

- Buy a new PC

- Adopt a pet at the shelter

- Go to the gym more often to release tension

- Take a short trip outside of Italy (first find passport which hasn't been used since 2003)

- Read more books (because I swear, two books a month isn't enough to quench my thirst for meaning)

- Throw away useless objects from the past that I have been keeping "just in case I may need them again" but don't even know I have anymore. In the bathroom cabinet I found 5 different bottles of hair mousse and before I found them I was going to buy a new one

- Mind my own business

- Stop others from weighing me down with their problems because I am not the oracle or Mother Theresa (can't afford to try with all the problems I have)

When I think about more I'll add them... anyway, it's now 4.25pm and I am at work, dying to bounce... after work I'll have to go teach, I haven't been there in a while so it's overdue.

Damn, I'm so bored... not because I have nothing to do because I do... I just don't feel like doing whatever there is! Plus whenever it's that time of the month for me I have absolutely no willpower nor energy to spare...

Friday, January 6 2005

Self discovery

I'm around, it's just that my pc is too slow to work on it and update this site decently... so I just put up this Winnie the Pooh look which will stay up until Valentine's Day time... I think by then I'll have a new computer... besides, I was thinking about going to pick it up this weekend... we'll see.

I've got so much to tell you, but it's almost midnight (so it's actually Thursday night) and tomorrow I gotta get up for work... so I'll check in this weekend... I've got nowhere to go anyway...

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