Archives > January 2008
Here are two pics Ila just sent me, they were taken last August at Porto Garibaldi, during a very cloudy late afternoon at the beach... you can tell by us covering up! Better late than never Ila! Also some pictures from Sam's birthday party at Lotvs, more should be coming eventually.
Randomness....
I hate rhyme and one's desperate attempt to use that word to invent a tale that never would be if the word sounded differently
Here are some pictures of me and Ste and others I took at the second Negramaro concert, together with Anna and Rosanna :)
There are times when I run, times when I hide, well last night I just got up and left for Varese's provice, to pick up my friend Anna. 
It was about 10.30pm when I left the house, ipod at hand and my trusty navigator always on to guide the way.First I went to pick up Ilaria and then off we went to unknown destinations, a plain evening soaked in sadness but too beautiful to be wasted away with tears, anger and wondering if and if not. We got to Anna's location at around 11.30 and on our way back at midnight I stopped for "panino con la salamella" 
(which is a sausage sandwich) I know it was late and I know it's fattening but screw that, I wasn't about to worry about dumb calories! Then we stopped at a rest stop on the way and each had a hot drink with pastry, we even bought a scratch and win lottery ticket (and of course won nothing)... we laughed at the Valentine's Day teddy bears looking for a stuffed heart that said "I hate you" and not finding one... we tried on masks of Carnevale and laughed like teenagers.
Then I dropped off Ilaria, followed by Anna... I got home at 1.30am and felt like I just had the greatest time ever, I was exausted but happy that the road had taken away my thoughts, the roundabouts were all I was willing to worry about last night. Because worrying, really, is a human condition but often it's a pest; but it's better to react positively, to keep a head up... always remember this:
If you don't love yourself, then nobody else ever will.
And so I run, because I've never really walked or stood still before. I run towards unravelled destinies of unknown origin, I cover up my face against the current, I take care of myself, myself, the only person that will love me unconditionally.
I've run so much before my feet hurt, my knees are sore so, you see, that's why I cannot ski, that's why I cannot laugh so easily at what's impossible to comprehend. I tell tales from the heart, of times I lived and times I tried, of times I grieved and times I died.
Moments when I thought to myself that nothing was good enough for me and moments when I wasn't good enough for those moments... I smile at my reprimanding personality, I take pity in myself.
Because someone who loves herself as much as I, has gone through everything to find herself, and someone who loses herself as much as I have lost myself knows what it's like to miss that piece that makes sense of it all.
And although this may all seem a ramble, and I may seem a fool, I grieve these verses... I feel the words slowly rolling onto my back and sticking on my wet skin, with the tiny serifs of the letters gently but steadily piercing my flesh before the die away into their lines.
I run because I do not find myself in you, and because I can find you but, you see, the exchange isn't even. I run because you have what I need but are not willing to dispense of it, and I run because I am always the one who runs first while others follow or watch me disappear. It's my nature, it's my need, that's why in order to care about me you'd need to want that marathon.
It's not that I didn't write because I was gone off somewhere, I've been around... it's not that I didn't write because I had a lot of amazing things to do, because besides the usual nothing especially new is going on in my life.
Let's see... I am going out with friends as always and living life as a single, independent woman... I'm working, the usual routine, I've been studying like mad (I even knocked off an HTML course in two weeks)...
Oh yeah, I've been looking for that house outside of Milan, that amazing deal on a nice big apartment with a garage that wouldn't eventually make me regret leaving the city. It's a hard choice, especially seeing how bad the house market is lately.
So I'm alive, don't worry, I'm around, but you know well I hate posting stupid crap on my blog... it's best to keep quiet when one's got nothing intelligent nor interesting to mention. Talking about interesting, let me post a bookworm review (at the bottom of the page). The playlists also keep changing, in case you want to listen to some nice music.
It's actually 8.15 am and instead of getting efficiently dressed to go to work I am half dressed plopped on my home computer chair. After two weeks of amazing relaxation at home, staying up until late night and getting up whenever my eyes opened, it's so difficult to leave the house during the cold dark and often rainy mornings!
And while I was walking to work yesterday I got to thinking about how much of machines we are, staying in the office most of our days and most of our lives, going back and forth from home to work to produce, like little ants or bees in a hive. And what for? To survive, to get by...
This is such a long week, and I'm only halfway through... I just wish it was Friday already. Besides, I've been up until about 2am every night reading an amazing book I have had laying around my library and saved for future occasions, it's called The Other Boleyn Girl. It's great to finally have the will to pick up a book and read it through the end, there are phases of my life during which I don't even open one and others when I read about 4 a month. The book I am readying is amazing, plus there's going to be a movie soon released about it, so it should be nice to watch it in the end. Well, I've lounged enough, in the meantime I thought about what to put on this morning: black fitted tshirt and sand sweater on top... yeah, it's monotonous, but it's winter and I just don't give a damn.
Hey there! hope your celebrations were fun, just as I had predicted I had a very very pleasant night with my friends, I'm just checking in to show you pictures. It's Web 2.0 and the future so I'm thinking about importing all my pics onto my picasa gallery from now on, but since I don't want them not to appear on my site I will import slideshows from now on, let's try this once as an experiment, hope you enjoy! In case you don't then you can just check out the pictureshereor below the slideshow.
