Archives > February 2008
Forget the fact that today I could barely walk and stayed home from work (whenever my knee gets to me it is able to leave me stranded like an old woman), I had a very crazy weekend, here are some pics from Silvia's dinner. In the first picture I'm actually showing them some bellydance moves, the guys wanted to learn! I said the guys, yeah I know, it's a bit gay LMAO.
Ohhh I just got out of my steam shower and am so relaxed! but before I dry my hair here is the general program of my vacation in Egypt:
CLASSES:
Saturday
arrival at 13.15
Sunday
afternoon 16.00-19.00 (3 hours)
Monday
morning 9.00-11.00 (2 hours)
opportunity - camel trip at sunset
Tuesday (free)
opportunity - trip to Ras Mohamed Marine Park
Wednesday
morning 9.00-11.00 (2 hours)
afternoon 16.00-19.00 (3 hours)
Thursday (free)
opportunity - boat trip with stop to see Tiran coral reef
opportunity - moto 4x4 trip to the desert at sunrise or sunset
Friday
morning 9.00-12.00 (3 hours)
opportunity - dinner in the desert
Saturday
departure at 14.05
April 26-May 2 I'm headed for Marsa Alam, Egypt for a relaxing vacation and a dance workshop together with my bellydance group! I am so, so excited about this, I've been waiting to go to a nice hot place for the longest time... soaking the sun rays, snorkeling, walking on the beach and dancing my ass off the entire week! We're going to be dancing every other day for 3-5 hours daily, ohh, how amazing! I am very excited and can't wait already! Plus during Easter break my friend Aliah from the States is coming to visit me and I look forward to a nice week together showing her around!
Here are a couple of snapshots from Rosa's birthday dinner at Kapuziner, together with my favorite colleagues! :)
After almost six months covering two departments, it looks like my colleague Rosa will come in as my new office mate and indirect colleague, hope this will take a lot of stress off my shoulders. She'll start part time first, then eventually progress to a full role in the department, while I'll go back to solely doing the job I am paid for.
After life's many downs things get better eventually, and when we see a glimmer of sun in the horizon we think that maybe, just MAYBE, the adversities made us stronger and brought us closer to knowing what we really want out of life. Rough times form us, and the right hugs in between soften our journey forward.
The picture on your right is, of course, a self-mokery just to laugh it all off...
BUT WE'RE ALONE NOW, AND I'M SINGIN' THIS SONG FOR YOU...
Yesterday I got up to go to the gym, 2 and a half hours of dance class after that sushi with Rosanna at our usual joint, then I had to run back home for my English students (while on the other side of Milan the dance recital rehersal was taking place). I would have much preferred going to the rehersal but first I needed to work and then I couldn't be physically ehausted after 5 and a half hours of dance, because in the evening I had a birthday party (out of two, unfortunately I couldn't get to both, and I was really saddened by this). I got home at 11.30 and felt like jello, here's my favorite day of the week, Sunday... I just want to lounge at home and hug myself... or be hugged by someone else.
Someone to hold me all night... and tell me everything would be ok, in the end. In the end of it all we just need a hug, sometimes, to see things under a better light. Through it all I was safe, within those arms of incomplete understanding but knowledgeable affection.
Now enough, have a laugh (if you understand Italian):
Loving isn't easy, I know, I've loved before. I've known the meaning of giving up my dreams completely to follow that pursuit of a dream we hope will last forever, when nothing lasts forever. 
We spend our time either waiting for that special thing or hoping for what we have to magically turn into its own opposite. I laugh whenever I remember the psychic lady I ran into once in a bar: she looked at me and said, even before hello, "the man you're looking for, he doesn't exist."
Well heck, I think the bitch was right... how are we supposed to know what we want in another when we don't even fully know what we want ourselves to become? Should we randomly guess and point a finger at the first reasonable option or sit on a hill for Valentine knows how long and scope down waiting to find that flicker of a difference?
And another Valentine goes by. Another day to wonder if any of our flames will bother sending us a text message, another day of couples going out to dinner just because they are supposed to. Another way to gain calories and pimples with those chocolates that really, we don't appreciate receiving, and another reason to buy ourselves a Valentine present and tell ourselves "I love you".
Tomorrow I'm going to buy myself a vacation to Marsa Alam, a week in Egypt bellydancing with friends and tanning, snorkeling and having the time of my single life. After this, who the fuck cares about Valentine's Day...
I'm in love with my new shoes, now it's a matter of hooking them up with my feet, they won't be so thrilled at first
Oh, and here's a video from Mardi Gras :)
Oh btw, do you know how sometimes old songs begin to make sense JUST because you live a similar story? This amazing song from Fiona Apple can totally apply today:
I tell you how I feel, but you don't care
I say tell me the truth, but you don't dare
You say love is a hell you cannot bare
And I say gime mine back and then go there for all I care
I got my feet on the ground and I dont go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds, you're not at all what you seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told you
Don't come around I got my own hell to raise
I have never been so insulted in all my life
I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride
First you run like a fool just to be at my side
And now you run like a fool
But you just run to hide, and I can't abide
I got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds, you're not at all what you seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told you
Don't come around, I've got my own hell to raise
Don't make it a big deal
Don't be so sensitive
We're not playing a game anymore
You don't have to be so defensive
Uh uhhhh uuoohhhhhhhh...
Don't you plead me your case
Don't bother to explain
Don't even show me your face
Cuz it's a crying shame
Just go back to the rock from under which you came
Take the sorrow you gave and all the stakes you claimed
And don't forget the blame
I got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds and you're not at all what ya seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told ya
Don't come around, I got my own hell to raise(x2)
There's so much more beneath the surface
so much over the mask of pathetic marshmallowness
that is this smile of pearly concealment
I grieve so much more than you could ever believe
and I no longer want to hit rock bottom
I don't want to see the darkness that envelops all that is this pathetic flicker of hope
because I know what it's like to be cold and be left with nothing but the sad thoughts,
they accompanied me along my lonely climb up the steep cliff and kept me cozy within their pitiful chill
I just want to go back to basic, I don't want to want more, I don't want to wish or regret
just wish to live a simple life and appreciate the small things
looking far into the line that divides sky from earth without wondering where the limit is.
Would like to hug myself from outside and tell me that it's nothing
that this too, shall pass
that as long as I have me nothing can hurt me
and as long as I love me I have everything.
-----------------------------
What do you see when you look at me
How blindly do you suppose I will walk any further
thinking that I'm going towards the right direction
firmly believing and imagining a truth I've carefully built inside my head
this route I've chosen, this winding path I'm living
is taking me round and round in circles
and walking, running, stumbling I continue hoping for that target of a dream
that wonder of a wander that's forcing me to foolishly think I can get there.
Where? Anywhere... inside, outside, around and across, within and throughout
in essence I'm sadly standing still.
Here are some pics from the Mardi Gras Theme Party "Born in the USA":
Here are more pictures from Sam's party:
And here are pics from Dada's bourghignonne dinner party:
It's night, room's dark
and everything smells like you
my shirt, my hair, the corner of my neck and shoulder
it scares me to have found a person that gets under my skin
understands my essence so well because, you see, I thought we were different
when we, in reality, are very much alike - this scares me.
Because for once it's like I'm up against my own determination,
my character and passion
I was so glad to see you, and so sad to watch you go
but as you were no longer with me I had an odd feeling
that I would never see you again
and that your scent would linger in the air for a while
then softly dissipate into the relentless units of time that make up life
It's not easy to give oneself completely
how much more difficult when both have had and lost so much before
in order to get you have to give, and I have an awful feeling that I can give you everything,
too much for you to truly appreciate, understand
you'd probably take me for granted, us, so very much alike
and you'd soon forget me, it's all a matter of time... just those few units of time that make up life
and that scent that was us together will be only just a memory of what we would never be.
Cuz wine can mess you up!
Tu chiamale se vuoi... ROOONFFF