Archives > February 2005

Sunday, February 27 2005

Finished book: Spoiler alert

I just got done reading the Italian book entitled "Tre Metri Sopra il Cielo" or "Three Meters above the Sky." Took me only 2 days!

I thought it was really nice, it made me reminisce of times gone by, when I was younger and nothing much cared except having fun and messing around.

At first the book takes you into a world you have left years ago (well, if you are my age) with motorcycle races, bars and crazy parties. You feel like an intruder and think "why the hell am I reading this, I'm too old for it) but then you get so into the book that the story takes you in... and you feel like high school times again, you remember how beautiful love was at that age, when there were fundamental things to discover (and that now seem old news).

I was loving the book... feeling fresh and worry free again... until... well, it just slaps you right back to reality and makes you remember that there is much more than passion and happiness in a healthy relationship. Also, it makes you remember the people and the things and places we left behind in order to grow into responsible people. It's so bitter. But so true. I don't know what I should say because I didn't like how the story ended but I'd really like a sequel! Maybe a happier ending in it...

It was nice reminiscing

Thank heavens I finally find a day this month that I get to relax and stay at home doing nothing... well, I should get some laundry done but I think there is time for that.

Yesterday I had a new student coming over, she's 14 years old. Not only is her English very good, she's also been a classical and modern dancer since she was six and she's a swimmer. Damn, I wish I was so motivated, well, I'm a lazy ass. Anyways, if I feel like it this afternoon I'll go buy her book, I must find a book for young people that teaches some upper intermediate notions.

I really really love teaching. I'd love to become a teacher full time.

In the afternoon I went to visit my grandmother, she's been home for the last three days now but is still in pretty fragile conditions. I am happy that at least she gets to sleep in her own bed.

In the evening I went out with Sinem and (gasp) Mari to the movies. We saw "Finding Neverland" yeah I know that movie's old news but here in Italy it just came out. It wasn't bad, but I didn't even love it. I love movies when I come out of the theatre and can't stop talking about the plot and the actors... well, besides talking about how fine Johnny Depp is there wasn't really much we discussed of it.

Right after the film we went to this bar in the square nearby and since we saw that cocktails cost 8 Euros I ordered an ice tea. I get the check and damn!!! 6 Euros for a damn tea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But just as we were all thinking we had gotten robbed there come two huge plates full of happy hour food: pizzas, pasta, eggs, peas, beans, toasted bread... quite nice! Too bad that they kicked us out at around 10,15 because they were closing.

So we went out and walked around for a while, even if it was cold as ice. We spoke about our past relationship, adventures and friends, wondering what had happened to Monica or Federico, Mario or Elio, Nicola or Emanuele... it was fun!

But then I realized just how old we have gotten, reminiscing about times when having fun was the only important matter. No responsibilities or worries, just heartbreaks and small girly arguments. Glossy pages of teen magazines and posters of celebrities hanging in our rooms. The first "scented" fruity lip gloss (the cheap one that you found in a magazine) and the Sony walkman. The diaries full of our friends' best wishes and those famous phrases by unknown writers ("If you love something let it go, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was...").

Times wondering about our first kiss and when it would arrive, or dreading the wonder of the first periods... you know, I kind of saw all of these things in my new student's eyes today. And suddenly I felt like I could have been her mother, well, almost!

I know it's not normal, but despite the full time work schedule I've managed to read three books in the past two weeks... I finished "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho and now an Italian book called "Three Meters above the Sky" plus am almost finished listening to the audio book of Sophie Kinsella's "Shopaholic ties the Knot."

I must absolutely inaugurate a new section in the magazine for books, with reviews and such. Oh by the way, soon I'll start working on the new issue of the magazine, I'll let you know when I post it!

I got into Coelho so much that I'm gonna start reading three other books by him soon:

I'm such a nerd!!!!!

Sunday, February 20 2005

It snows when you don't want it to...

Yesterday I went with S to buy his new computer, and I was so jealous!! He got this great HP pc with a 17" flat screen LCD monitor and a whole lotta stuff, like a really good graphics card etc... I wanted so bad to buy a monitor for myself but unfortunately I can't at the moment.

I received the yearly television tax for the first time, as a matter of fact I never thought they'd find me! But they did, and so by the end of February I have to pay 99 Euros... one of my students' mother anticipated 100 Euros for lessons I haven't even done yet and I had put the bill in a little safe, that was going to be the computer money... and instead nada.

The place where we got S.'s computer charges 70 Euros for formatting, reinstalling and a general check-up, plus I think I'd like to do a big upgrade, cuz I think that'll end up costing less than buying a brand new machine.

After that we went to visit my grandma in the hospital, and she was doing a bit better, now she can stand up and walk a few meters. Afterwards we went to eat a pizza and my parents thought why don't you come to our house outside of Milan and we'll take you home tomorrow?

You see, I happen to live in a SHIT city where officials still believe that blocking car circulation for a few days will improve the pollution and so for the last few months we've had alternating car-free Sundays and weekdays of limited circulation. So today we would have driven to the metro's parking lot outside of Milan and than come into the city with public transportation.

Well, who fuckin' expected snow this morning! It sucked... but at least now I'm home and have a half day to clean up and wash my hair (that takes me over 1 hour) but I'm lazyyyy!

Damn, I just wish it snowed money... I know I've said that before, but I'm rambling.

I'm a few pages away from finishing Agatha Christie's Poirot on the Nile and I'm loving it. Agatha Christie never seems to disappoint me...

Friday, February 18 2005

Hello, just in case you didn't know...

Lotsa drama has been going on this week... first of all my grandmother is in the hospital, she's been operated for a tumor... it doesn't look like she'll be avoiding chemotherapy and that is hard as hell considering the fact that my grandma doesn't even know that the pain she feels in her belly is cancer.

I've been working all week and calling my mother and my aunt, I was very worried before she went into surgery because last time she almost died on the operating table. This time she got through it all that but you know, it ain't over yet...

Anyway, I've been thinking real carefully about my life, what I have and don't, what makes me happy and what doesn't, because it's during the difficult times that you realize just how many people around you care. And it's a perfect equation, people around might not care because, well, you didn't show you cared about them to begin with.

When I think about some past drama I had with a friend I remember after all that she was wrong for how she behaved, well, she apologized, but then things went sour... I tried to put things on hold thinking that I know she didn't' mean to do what she did. Then we drifted apart... totally.

Well, now I'm thinking. Why did she do what she did? Not because she's an evil bitch with an attitude, no, that was never her. Maybe a bit moody yes but there was nothing wrong with that. Maybe she said what she said about me because... in a way... she was... right.

Maybe I was obsessing her with my past love triangle (I won't get into that) and maybe I was being too dependant on my relationship. Maybe I didn't understand her priorities, I didn't see her point of view... because, as it's always been said, "it takes two to tango," meaning, she must have written that stuff because I gave her reason to.

After a year I realized all this. And I guess the term "It's water under the bridge" is appropriate now. I've been missing her, maybe she doesn't even give a shit, but I have.

I went to visit her blog, as a matter of fact I always go, and after her latest post about losers reading back to her archives I decided to do the same. I re-read the bad things about me and tried to see it her way... and I did. I just wish she had told me straight up because that way I wouldn't have wasted time or tears understanding it.

But most importantly I read the good things... and I remembered the Christina Aguilera concert together, the walks in Milan, our trip to the shore, shopping with her shoe-addicted friend, eating at Pastarito or talking bullshit on the telephone for hours.

Then I remembered more about us, the fact that unlike all other junior high friends she was the one who I kept in touch with the longest while I was in the US, how we hooked again when I returned, our times criticizing celebrities and singing to Ornella Vanoni, the time when she took me to the public pool and it was like swimming in a "piss-in." The unforgettable amazing time we had when we just grabbed the car and went to the beach house, each ate a humongous plate of pasta with seafood at 10,30pm and dipped our feet in the sea watching the stars right afterwards.

I miss the fact that she was a person I could trust and talk to, and I miss hearing her good and bad things. I miss her hissy fits when she just wanted to be left alone... those just pissed me off, but they were a part of her.

I know that no matter how much she hurt me that time I just KNOW she didn't mean to and I am sorry she cried to me telling me it was all a mistake. It wasn't - I just wish I could finally get that chance to go to a strip joint like she had asked me to and I didn't. Because it's hard to find a friend like that.

I tried calling her this evening but there was no answer, I know she has caller ID so it's either she really was out or she thought "Whattafakkkk?"... and I was afraid of calling her again... I feel like I am back in junior high but I really need to get this out of my system.

There used to be this show on Italian TV from Raffaella Carra'... well it was about relatives and friends reuniting after a long hella time... and when the reunion took place there was this gay song playing and I always cried watching it (and thought "How gay" at the same time). Well, I just wish I could have a moment like that with her.

I just wish we could put this crap behind, because I think it's not worthy enough to waste a friendship. So I think I might just send this post to her in case she doesn't read my blog and if she replies that'll just make up for my fucked up week. If she doesn't, well, I'll feel like an ass... but I already do anyway...

Sunday, February 13 2005

Pre-Valentine loneliness

Hello there, I just got back from quite a short beautiful but in the end extremely stressful weekend with my beau. I flew down to visit him and to see how the house they are building for us is going along. Well, looks like that shit won't be ready until June 2006 so we might just have to go and postpone the "partey" and tha family life planning. Well, not like many people gave a damn about our wedding anyways...

I have taken a bunch of pictures of the condo they are finishing by April (since ours is just a bunch of bricks for now) but since it would be hard for you to tell which rooms you are looking at I'm trying to make a bit of a flash magic with a nice navigation... hopefully that'll come out all right, if it doesn't I'll just post the pictures and that's it.

Besides showing up to the airport this afternoon and finding out I had actually booked the return trip for NEXT WEEK instead of today by mistake (I'm a moron) to be able to get on today's flight I had to shell out an extra 115 Euros and that sucks cuz there go my hopes for a computer upgrade anytime soon. I am even scared to find out how much I actually have in the bank... I'm broke. Hopefully the pay from the new job will kick in soon enough and I'll be able to pull in some profits... damn, single life is tough!

Wanna Laugh?? Click here

Tuesday, February 8 2005

iPod nightmare

Sitting here all bored, transferring files back to my ipod after it crashed, thank heavens I was able to back up. This is the second time this month that I have iPod problems, I guess I expect too much from "him" anyhow, hopefully in about 20 minutes it'll be all good and I'll be able to go to bed.

I have been saving my teaching cash to get a computer upgrade. I'd like to take this bad boy into the shop and tell them:

1) Get some nice new parts (a motherboard and processor?)

2) Reformat and install XP

3) Fix my secondary 80GB hard drive (which one day stopped working)

I think that if I take the PC to an honest, decent place I'll be able to get all this done for about 350Euros... are you laughing at me? Is it more expensive? I hope not... I still have 2 months of teaching to be able to afford my version...

Saturday, February 5 2005

And then she said... LET THERE BE FLASH!

Ok, if you care you GOTTA visit my new Flash version of the site! I am extremely proud of it even cuz that shit took me a while to get. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, but please remember that it's just a first design so it's not the greatest I'll ever do.

Oh yeah, and get a coffee while it's loading cuz it might take a slow modem a bit. Thankya :)

Thursday, February 3 2005

Short week

Yes, it is kinda going by fast so that means I've finally gotten accustomed to the office routine. But I haven't had time yesterday to work on the flash site. It's 90% done but the problem now is the usability. You see, I've been doing sites since 1998 so I kinda have a high standard for them, I don't accept doing a crappy job, even if I must accept the fact that a first design is always hard to pull. Well, you'll be the one to judge! I'll prolly be able to get it online in 2 weeks. This HTML layout will be up anyways in case you don't find yourself with the flash stuff or find it too heavy to load...

Gosh, I just got done watching this amazing TV series called "RIS" about an investigative squad that must test murder scene proofs to come up with the killers... and I am loving it, all technological and such. Plus I'm loving this actor in it, his name is Stefano Pesce... YES, his last name means fish. Damn.

I mean I don't care how hot you are, if your last gotdarn name is fish you should just change it for your own sake! I'd NEVER marry someone with that name and became Mrs. Fish... no way Jose'!!!! Anyways, feast your eyes on this kay?

mmmm, yeah baby, I'm feeling Mista Fish, all concentrated on the murder case... ok, I'm gonna stop, sorry. I just can't help appreciate male beauty, can ya blame me? I might just add this fella in the BubbleSnow hall of fame... when I have some time.

I haven't even had time to was my whites... damn, must handle my time better. I mean, I arrived home at 6,45, went to take a shower and washed my hair, blow-dried it (and believe me that takes me a helluva long time!) and ate, then I watched RIS and now it's 12,10am and it's really time to go beddy bye if I don't wanna look like zombie tomorrow morning. Sigh, what does a girl have to do for financial stability??

Toodles for now...

PS: Have you non-obsessed random listeners finally gotten to listen to Mariah's single?? I mean dayummmm it's hot huh? Don't deny it... and it's 100% hers... not like JHo that is in trouble with Usher for "her" "Get Right" song...

Note to self: add "Stefano" to my favorite boy names...